The Relationship Centre provides mentoring for both adults and young people to address issues which are important to them, for example, parenting, work, leadership, school, distress and relationships. All the issues people face in life have a common denominator; the nature of my relationship with myself. There is not an issue (conflict, drugs, alcohol, stress, fear, avoidance, passivity, aggression etc.) which is not fundamentally about suppression of my own individuality.
Educational courses, mentoring and psychotherapy are run from the perspective that human beings are vastly intelligent and do not need advice or strategies (these rarely work in the long term). Instead, they need the support, safety and patience to find their own answers, which they are aware of but not necessarily conscious of - consequently classes and mentoring are focussed on reaching (creating safety) rather than preaching.
When people reflect and become conscious of how they are living, everything changes and they begin to lead. Before I can lead a family, a team, an organisation or a country I must first learn how to lead myself.
Parenting - When parents begin to listen and become conscious of what’s going for them, they begin to take action for themselves. As their relationship with themselves becomes deeper, so their approach to parenting also changes.
They begin to accompany their children on their journey rather than to control and to allow their individuality to flourish while setting loving boundaries to keep them safe. In turn as children sense there are no conditions on love and boundaries reflect care rather than punishment their challenging behaviours reduce significantly.
Young people are very quick to redeem the qualities they hid away and unless very deeply hurt become conscious much quicker than adults. They understand the symbolism of behaviour and how we are always communicating. There is always deep meaning as to why a young person doesn’t study or why they drink or take drugs or rebel or cut themselves. For example when a young person steals the symbolism is usually communicating what was stolen from them but which they cannot speak about, (a parent’s death, or their innocence)
Teachers like parents, when teachers begin to really care for themselves their relationship with their students change. They no longer mix them up with exam results but begin to see the individuality and creativity of each student and do not mix up their success as a teacher with their student’s learning.